


Jealous

by kendallnicola



Series: Haikyuu!! Song Fics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst, BAMF Hinata Shouyou, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Pining Akaashi Keiji, Pining Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Possibly Pre-Slash, Rare Pairings, Smut, Songfic, Strippers & Strip Clubs, tbc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 05:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kendallnicola/pseuds/kendallnicola
Summary: I'm in my penthouse half naked.Shoyo was sitting all-the-fuck-alone in his and Wakatoshi's apartment.I cooked this meal for you naked.Their high-rise Tokyo apartment did wonders for when Shoyo was feeling these particular feelings (despair, jealousy, rage, dangerous calm.So where the hell you at?He moved to the plush chair by the windows, his favorite chair, and watched the world go by as he ate.Just one shot left of this drink, in this glassShoyo smiled at the picture and studied his friends for as long as he’d let himself.Don't make me beak it.This honestly didn’t come as much of a surprise to Shoyo.





	Jealous

**Author's Note:**

> long ass song fic to Jealous by Beyonce
> 
>  
> 
> [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNMdFio_KCs)

**_I'm in my penthouse half naked_**.

 

Shoyo was sitting all the-fuck alone in his and Wakatoshi's, much too large, apartment. His fiancé was out with Satori on a boy's night again. Shoyo had just assumed that "Boy's Night" meant an all-night bender and then them spending all day together and then another night. He hadn't seen an inch of Toshi since the previous night, and, to be honest, Shoyo was used to this routine. He’d grown somewhat fond of the quiet nights in his expansive apartment. He grew used to the quiet and the echo of his lone footstep's in their apartment. He took comfort in the small things like watching what ever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and having his friends over at his convenience.

 

**_I cooked this meal for you naked._ **

 

Their high-rise Tokyo apartment did wonders for when Shoyo was feeling these particular feelings (despair, jealousy, rage, dangerous calm). All the lights had been clicked off and the only light coming into the living room and kitchen was coming from the hustle and bustle of Night Time Tokyo. Shoyo forced himself to move from his spot on the couch and into the kitchen area where he served himself the meal he made for Wakatoshi. He had taken up cooking as a hobby during his free time. He had a lot of free time now where he used to have a relationship. Now all Shoyo seemed to have was a hollow heart that matched the other side of his all-too-empty bed. As a last-minute decision, he poured himself a glass of something dark and strong, something to forget. He wanted to dull the sharp ache of emotion edging at his consciousness. There wasn’t much Shoyo ever wanted to keep at the forefront of his mind these days.

 

**_So, where the hell you at?_ **

 

He moved to the plush chair by the windows, his favorite chair, and watched the world go by as he ate. He sipped on his drink long after he finished his meal, feeling the effects of the amber liquid overpowering the food settling in his gut. To pass the time until his adulterous fiancé would stumble into the apartment, tipsy off wine and a love that wasn’t Shoyo’s, he scrolled through Instagram on his phone. He followed most of his old team, his old senpais and young kouhais alike. He loved seeing where they ended up in life, with most of them living near himself in Tokyo. They were all in school or employed by now, but their lives were still forever intertwined. Shoyo smiled as he scrolled down his feed, listlessly liking pictures until he stumbled across a picture Tadashi posted. It was the freckled former captain, Kei, Ryuu, and Yuu all posed in front of a bar with their arms slung over each other’s shoulders. Kei stood at a distance form everyone still, not too comfortable being touchy-feely with anyone besides Tadashi. Ryuu had Tadashi and Yuu pulled close and his smile split his face in half. They all looked positively glowing. They had all accidentally met up at the gay bar down the block named _Grace_.

 

**_Just one shot left of this drink, in this glass_ **

 

Shoyo smiled at the picture and studied his friends for as long as he’d let himself. He let his eyes flick over how the flash of the camera made Tadashi's beautiful freckles stand out, and how the sweat on Ryuu's muscles from bouncing at the door all night looked absolutely delicious. He noticed Kei had gotten delicately tanned after his trip to the Philippines and how Yuu’s newfound height and long hair gave him an air of maturity that he never held before. Tobio was tagged in the picture so Shoyo could only assume that he was the one taking the picture. Too bad, Shoyo would’ve love to see the DJ’s sculpted arms under that flash. (He's engaged not dead, he can shop but not buy.) He had his finger on the screen to continue his mindless scrolling until he noticed a familiar shock of red hair in the back of Tadashi's picture. He followed the hair to the face it belonged to. Too bad that the face it belonged to was Satori and too bad that Satori's face was attached to Wakatoshi's at the lips. Wakatoshi was sat in one of the plush, red chairs in the back of the club and Satori was sat in Wakatoshi's lap.

 

 ** _Don't make me beak it_**.

 

This honestly didn’t come as much of a surprise to Shoyo. With how emotionally numb he's been lately, he was surprised that he was even feeling the rage that was building in his chest. It was laying down a foundation, slapping mortar onto bricks and building the walls of anger up high. Shoyo was _mad as fuck_. He took a screenshot of the picture and zoomed in on the adultery. He sent it to the group chat of his friends who still were linked up after high school, telling them not to let Wakatoshi leave the club. He knew every one of his friends’ phones would go off and at least one person in that club would check it before he could get himself together enough to spin his ass around a pole. He let his phone slip out of his hand. The clatter it made on the ground was insignificant to the cacophony of his heart beating like a bass drum in his ears right now. He looked down to the glass in his hand and then over to the dry bar full of "special occasion" alcohol. _Toshi's so fucking extra,_ the thought floated through his mind so fast as was like jet fuel to the fire of anger in his chest. Shoyo usually wasn't malicious, but he's never been cheated on. Or, well, he’s never caught Wakatoshi red handed before.

 

“There's a first time for everything.”

 

**_I wish that you were me._ **

 

He yanked the stopper out of the crystal bottle of whiskey and drank the little bit that was left in there. He took great pleasure in finishing Wakatoshi’s favorite “end of the week” drink before he could. With newfound malice, his eyes fell onto the bottle of "whatever the hell" that was being saved for Wakatoshi's graduation. It looked more expensive than Wakatoshi’s undergraduate and graduate degree combined, so he drank it. He opened it and drank a glass of that, leaving it open to get that gross, stale taste. Shoyo kneeled down in front of the small bar and opened the cabinet, searching for a specific bottle. Once he found the bottle of champagne that was being saved for their wedding he opened it and drank the entire thing without stopping, leaving just enough at the bottom for a metaphor of how much Shoyo still loved Wakatoshi.

 

**_So that you could feel this feeling._ **

 

He struggled his engagement ring off his finger and slipped it through the neck of the bottle of champagne _. Let it rot,_ he thought as the small diamonds and intricate engravings were partially covered in the disgusting alcohol _._ He watched the band bubble at the bottom of the bottle. Shoyo looked down to his bare hand, eyes barely stopping over the tan line on his finger and lets his eyes trail to the glass at the end of his fingertips. He’s barely got a tipsy grip on the glass. He contemplates the glass for a minute more before bringing it into a better grip. He takes the weightiness of the crystal glass in his hand, one Wakatoshi had saved for forever to purchase himself, and then he hurled it at a picture of him and Wakatoshi on the wall. Shoyo sank to his knees just like the picture frame had slid and fallen from the wall. He buried his face in his hands for seconds before he clutched at the shirt on his chest, Wakatoshi's shirt, and screamed.

 

**_I never broke one promise,_ **

 

_"Hey, baby.” Shoyo had rolled over on the bed to face Wakatoshi completely, swinging his lithe leg over his fiancé’s entire middle. “Promise me we'll never be that couple who falls out of love but stays together. I really just want us to be happy and I don’t want to become my parents." Shoyo said into Wakatoshi’s personal space. They were lazing in bed together. The sun was shining on them, keeping them warm in the January frost. That, along with the two space heaters pointed at the bed._

 

 _"I promise." After a pause Wakatoshi countered, "Promise me that we'll leave the other person if we cheat. My mother always told me that if you cheat, you never really wanted to be with the first person in the first place. I don't want us to try to stay together if one of us crossed that line. I don’t want to become_ my _parents." Wakatoshi laid a tender hand on Shoyo’s face, brushing some of his long hair out of his eyes, his thumb leading a gentle expedition of caresses across Shoyo’s lips and chin._

 

_Shoyo thought for a minute before answering, "That’s an awful promise Toshi, but I get it and I do promise. But, you have to promise me you won't cheat. I know one hundred percent that I won’t ever cheat on you. I mean, c’mon baby, there are just some things you have to know going into a relationship and being one hundred percent faithful in your partner is one of them." Shoyo placed his hand over the one that was still roaming his face and gave it a squeeze that he hoped conveyed his love and reassurance._

 

_"I promise," Wakatoshi said with such ease that Shoyo's worries were soothed. The crinkle in Shoyo’s brow smoothed over and a mirthful smile took over Wakatoshi’s face, "Promise me that we can do what the other does." The brows were crinkled again, but this time in confusion, rather than malcontent._

 

_Shoyo cocked his head to the side and rolled completely over onto Wakatoshi's chest, soaking up his warmth. He spread his open palms across Wakatoshi’s chest under the light t-shirt he was wearing to stay comfortable. "What do you mean, babe?" Wakatoshi smiled at the American pet name that his fiancé had picked up when they visited California together for an internship. They had stayed in a hostel with another couple and picked up a few American mannerisms since being there._

 

_"If I want to do something in the relationship, like, let's say I want to invest some money or tie you to the bed and fuck you out of your senses; I would give you every equal opportunity to do that to me. This is for really for anything. I could only think of that last one because you look so beautiful in this sunlight right now." Wakatoshi pulled Shoyo into his chest and then into a long kiss._

 

_"Toooshiii…"_

 

“ _Yes, my sunshine, The light of my life?”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you.”_

  

**_And I know when you're not honest_ **

 

_"Hey, I'll be home about three hours late, honey. I have a metric fuck ton extra papers to file for my boss." Shoyo could hear a rustle of papers, "Being an intern is pretty shitty, but you know that."_

 

_"It's okay, babe," (It's not) "I'll see you when you get home. I love you." (Do I really love you?)_

 

_"Thanks, sunshine, I love you." (Do you really?)_

 

 ** _And now you got me yelling_**.

 

Every lie Wakatoshi told and every single time he was with Satori suddenly came crashing to the forefront of his mind, crystal clear. Every image made Shoyo want slam his fists into the floor and yell out obscenities. He cursed Wakatoshi and the promises they made. He cursed Satori for sleeping with his fiancé. He cursed himself for not saying something to Wakatoshi and Satori years ago. He cursed the love he used to hold for the man and what it had turned into. Resentment with a side dish of love?

 

**_That's because I'm jealous._ **

 

He feels played. He feels cheated. He was cheated. He feels fucking jealous and it’s so wonderful to feel another emotion besides resigned contentment. He's jealous that Satori repeatedly caught and kept his finance's attention over him. Shoyo stands and walks into their guest room which is really more Satori's room now. He takes every single thing that belongs to the demon and bundles it up in his arms. Shoyo walks it over to the large windows in the living room. He opens the latch with a soft click and throws the bundle of stuff in his arms. He throws a silent prayer that the laptop and PlayStation don't hit anyone. He watches it fall twenty-three stories down. Once he hears the satisfying thud and crack of electronics he re-latches the window with a grimace on his face.

 

**_If you keeping your promise, I'm mine._ **

 

Shoyo paces around the living room, repeatedly running his hands through his hair and down his neck. He should be getting ready to go to _Grace's_ but all he can think about is the promise he made to Wakatoshi three years ago. He thinks about Keiji and Ryuu and what could’ve become of them had Wakatoshi just let him go. He could be happy right now.

 

"So, you never really loved me in the first place, huh. Well, you fuckin’ prick, why in the fuck would you marry me and live with me and start to adopt a child with me. Why with me and not fucking Satori if you never loved me in the first place." Shoyo threw his hands wildly as he screamed to his empty apartment. His breath came out hot and ragged, dragging knives through his throat. Shoyo wiped his face on the back of his arm, smearing the mess his violent reaction made of it.

 

**_Oh I'm jealous._ **

 

"Fucking fuck." Shoyo slid down the wall of windows that showcased their cityscape view and sat there, staring at the door. He had asked Ryuu to make sure that Wakatoshi didn't leave the club, but now he just wanted Wakatoshi to walk through the front door right now. He wanted to scream at him, throw things at him, and then kick his ass out. Shoyo wanted a confrontation and he wanted it now.

 

Shoyo didn't know what he'd do to Toshi if he saw him right now. He may not capture his fiancé’s eye anymore, but he didn’t want Toshi to see the state that he was in. He didn’t want to let the other know how he’s been emotionally murdered by a photo.

 

**_Sometimes I want to walk in your shoes_ **

 

Shoyo takes a deep break and heads for their bathroom. He took a shower right before he ate but he feels like he needs to scrub himself clean of his discovery. Under the spray of the shower head he wonders what it would be like to the one breaking all of their promises. He wonders how Wakatoshi would react to being cheated on for years. He wonders if Wakatoshi does it for the thrill or if it's Satori himself.

 

Shoyo could almost understand. He’s _wanted_ Ryuu. He’s _wanted_ Keiji. He’s _wanted_ Tobio. He’s never acted on his desires after he committed himself to an ‘exclusive’ relationship with Wakatoshi.

 

 ** _Do the type of things that I never ever do_**.

 

Shoyo knows, deep down, that he could never bring himself to do the things that his fiancé did. He knows he could never hurt someone he loves as much as Wakatoshi is hurting him. It's a good thing he hasn't loved Wakatoshi in a long time.

 

Shoyo sometimes hates himself for being such a good person. He wishes he could just turn off his emotions and fuck who he wants to without guilt. He wishes he would’ve left Wakatoshi the moment he found the box of latex condoms in his bathroom cabinet. They hadn’t used condoms for months and Shoyo’s allergic to latex. Put two and two together and a more than half empty box of Toshi-sized condoms just doesn’t add up.

 

**_So I take one look in the mirror and I say to myself,_ **

 

He steps out of the shower and wipes the mirror of its condensation with the palm of his hand. He braces himself on the edges of the countertop and takes a good look at himself. Not just his physical body but his mental state. He takes a deep breath and takes his hands off of the counter before he breaks the marble.

 

Maybe he did break a promise.

 

_"Promise me that you'll always be happy in this relationship and that the second you aren't, you tell me. We can always work things out."_

 

Shoyo can’t pinpoint the exact moment he stopped being in happy, engaged bliss. It was a gradual slide down from sex every night in every room to not seeing each other for days at a time and only touching each other when they passed the remote. The went from sweet nothing whispered under the spray of the hot shower to Wakatoshi showering before he comes home from fucking Satori.

 

**_"Baby girl, you can't survive like this."_ **

 

He stares in the mirror for short seconds that stretch into long minutes. His hair is dripping onto his shoulders and he's made a water puddle he'll have to clean up later. Those things aren't even registering on his radar right now as he stares into his own soul and sees a broken man stare back. He can see the wrinkles in the bags under his eyes from stress. He can see where his skin is stretching back and his laughter lines aren’t anywhere near as prominent as they should be.

 

"You need to get out of here, Shoyo." He tells himself. Out of the apartment, out of the relationship, out of Tokyo - he doesn't know. The sudden feeling of claustrophobia grips his chest. He drops his towel and strides into the master bedroom, naked as the day he was born.

 

**_Take it one step further._ **

 

He digs in his closet for the box of clothes he wears to _Grace's_. Both Shoyo and Wakatoshi are interns for different government sectors but Shoyo moonlights as a dancer at _Grace's_ for a pretty penny. It's a very high-end and exclusive place. The money he makes there is how they afford their high-rise, western apartment in central Tokyo. Without Shoyo, Wakatoshi would be living in a broom closet.

 

**_Freakum dress out my closet._ **

 

Shoyo finds his favorite set of black strappy lingerie. He puts a purple, body conforming dress on top of his lingerie. Velvet heels and a large, warm overcoat go with the ensemble. He throws on a quick smokey-eye, some light contour, and highlighter before he mists himself with body glitter. He rarely fools with his fair anymore. The intricate undercut did wonders for him on stage. It kept his hair off his neck and had easy maintenance.

 

Before getting to the front door he grabs his phone and sends a text to the owner of the club, Grace, telling her that he'll be coming in tonight. He composes one to Keiji with the picture, telling him to meet him at _Grace's_ if he's not already there. On his way out of the door he @’s Ryuu in the groupchat, telling him that he’s five minutes away.

 

**_'Yoncé fillin' out this skirt._ **

 

During the elevator ride down, Shoyo admires himself in the mirrored walls. He runs his hand over his ass, sliding it around his thigh. He pulls the overcoat on to cover himself up on the street while he's walking there. Shoyo knows he looks good in this dress, but he doesn't need people who aren't paying to know that. He also doesn’t want to look too inviting to strangers.

 

**_I look damn good I ain't lost it._ **

 

Ryuu’s waiting for him at the back door of the club. He’s changed out of his bouncer’s uniform but into an equally as form fitting navy shirt. Yuu’s at the bar inside, keeping Tadashi and Kei company. Or at least that's what Ryuu tells Shoyo after he's done gawking at Shoyo’s ass.

 

"Yes, I know, it's gorgeous. It's three hundred to touch over clothes." Shoyo told his longtime friend and ex with a wink. Ryuunosuke laughs and the two men hug. Ryuu leads them through the doorway to the back area of the club. Dancers are running around wildly getting ready for their dances. In all the hustle and bustle they bump right into the people they were looking for, Shoyo crashes into Keiji’s chest and they take a solid step back from each other. Ryuu clears his throat, clearing the awkwardness effectively.

 

"Thank God you decided to come tonight, Shoshine. Sosuke started throwing up backstage and can't go on so you're taking the finale spot." Grace told him all of this in her usual rushed tone. She was American, and it took her a while to learn to slow down when she's speaking English but when she's stressed she speeds right back up.

 

"Can I pick my song?"

 

"You know the rules, honey," Grace said with a smile as she stroked the side of Shoyo’s arm almost motherly.

 

"My fiancé is out there with the guy he's been cheating on me with for at least three years," Shoyo pleaded to her.

 

"Okay. Just this once."

 

 ** _And I ain't missed a beat_**.

 

Shoyo walked up to the back of Tobio’s DJ booth and tapped his shoulder. Tobio spun around ready to fend off a wanna-be soundcloud rapper from giving him their mixtape. He was pleasantly surprised to be met with the shock of orange hair that was so signature to his childhood friend. Shoyo told him what was up and gave him the song for the finale. Tobio obliged and wished him good luck with a quick bro-hug.

Keiji had quickly changed into a beautiful black dress to go over his smoke-grey lingerie. As the last dace ended, they got into position by their poles on the dark stage before Grace's sultry voice introduced them.

 

"Tonight, we have an unscheduled treat for you all. For all you weekend regulars, you’ll know what’s coming! Two veteran dancers of mine, Sun and Smoke, are going to be slowing it down for a very special member in the audience. Put your hands together for my beautiful dancers! Hit it, Tobi!"

 

**_Boy you been hanging out the night tonight_ **

 

As soon as the first note of the piano hit, the soft, pink lights flashed onto the men. They were no longer Shoyo and Keiji. They were Sun and Smoke, Grace's best and oldest dancers. On the second note of the piano they both stepped a heeled foot forward and continued walking towards the front of the stage on beat.

 

As _Sandcastles_ by Beyoncé blew through the speakers, Shoyo could feel himself gaining more confidence, more power. The music was being absorbed into his core and he felt like he could kill a man with his heels. He could see how his highlight reflected out of the corner of his eye and it was invigorating. He felt the slips of straps on his silk dress, the fabric sliding over his lingerie. The stage lights gave him power. Keiji, standing next to him, feeling what he’s feeling, gave him power.

 

**_I'm staying out 'til tomorrow._ **

 

The dresses they were wearing had easy zippers, though the crowds usually loved to watch them undress each other. They reached behind their backs and pulled down their zippers slowly, revealing the lacey intimates underneath. They received a few whistles and hollers from the men and women in the crowd, but it was nothing compared to when they started walking towards each other.

 

**_Dancing on them tables ain't got no cares, no sorrows_ **

 

Shoyo pressed his body against Keiji's and threw his head back as Beyoncé sang his sorrows, rolling hips onto Keiji’s. He ran his hands down Keiji's soft curves and around his ass. All this while they were swaying and dipping their hips to the beat of the music. This really wasn’t like their usual routines at all.

 

Keiji likes to pull moans out of Shoyo while he’s on stage. He knows the best way to do it is to thread his fingers through the ginger silk and pull. The harder he pulls the louder Shoyo is and the louder Shoyo is the louder the audience is.

 

**_I ran into my ex,_ **

 

As the music picks up tempo they go to their poles. A quick swing for momentum and then they're up, swinging their sorrows now. They've been working on this routine for a while now. Keiji's in the same boat as Shoyo except he probably won't ever leave Kotarou.

 

Their legs and arms glide in sync. They twist, flex, and pull in rhythm. It's a technically flawless performance that has his former team in the crowd cheering louder than they ever have at any game. Shoyo doesn't think Ryuu's ever cheered this loud for him even when they were dating. He does feel a bit embarrassed that Kei is in the crowd. He's never seen Shoyo dance before. It's sometimes weird stripping in front of your friends. Kei cheers anyway because he has a few beers in him and he has Ryuu loud in his ear, louder than ever.

 

**_Said what up to his bestest._ **

 

_"Hey, Ryuu!"_

 

_"Hey, Sho! How've you been? I saw you got engaged?! What's domestic life like now?"_

 

_Shoyo set his drink down on the bar next to his old teammate’s. This was the first time in a while that his and Ryuu's shifts coincided and it would be nice to catch up. He’d missed his friend’s rapid fire questions and genuine interest in him._

 

_"I've been super great! Yeah, Toshi finally popped the question last week in America! And don't think I've been domesticated, Ryuu, you've seen me dance. Toshi doesn't even know about this." Shoyo signaled the bartender for two shots of vodka._

 

_"Still got your party on then?" Ryuu said, leaning in a little more._

 

_"Always. How's Chikara?" Shoyo stirred his drink for a distraction. When the shots were placed on the bar top, Shoyo pounded his and motioned for Ryuu to take the other._

 

_"Walking with the elephants in Africa, last I heard anyway.” Ryuu took a big swig of his dark drink and did his shot immediately after. “What about Wakatoshi?"_

 

_"Probably up Satori's ass somewhere." Shoyo paused for a minute. "Wanna get out of here."_

 

_"Fuck yeah."_

 

**_Now we reminiscing how we used to flex in Texas_ **

 

_"I cannot believe we took the train to Miyagi at two a.m." Ryuu giggled as they were walking down the sidewalk, pressed close together._

 

_"I can't believe the train still runs that late. But we got here pretty fast. Thank god for the bullet train." Shoyo said, his breath mixing with Ryuu’s exhale._

 

_They walked until they came across Ukai's store. They went in but Ukai wasn't at the register, it was some high school aged kid with his phone stuck to the front of his face._

 

_"Hey, do you go to Karasuno?"_

 

_"...Yeah?"_

 

_"Give me Ukai's keys. We need to get in the gym. He's still the coach, right?"_

 

_"Yeah, but why would I just gi-"_

 

_"Because I'm the Small Giant and I brought us to nationals three times! I want in my fucking gym to reminisce while I'm drunk. Damn, son." Shoyo let out a dramatic sigh and the kid handed over the keys with wide eyes. The two men stumbled out of the store giggling as they made their way towards Karasuno._

 

**_Don't be jealous_ ** _._

 

The finish on the poles was a dramatic, gliding spin downwards, towards each other. The poles were so close that everyone in the audience thought that they would hit. As their feet touched the ground they were facing each other. It seemed as though they stumbled into each other's arms just to step back again. It was all perfectly graceful. The place wasn't only called _Grace_ as a namesake.

 

Keiji grabbed Shoyo's hand and gave him a couple spins around with him ending flushed against Keiji’s chest, ass to crotch. Keiji slid his hands down Shoyo's body stopping at his hips, using his large hands to squeeze them and control the rhythm they set. Everyone in the audience could see how well they fit together.

 

**_If you keeping your promise, I'm keeping mine_ **

 

Keiji's hands inched closer to Shoyo's front. They skimmed over Shoyo’s rock hard cock, trailed up his stomach, and threaded into his hair. Keiji pulled his head back and began to suck a dark mark onto Shoyo's neck, still moving to the music.

 

"You're mine now." Keiji whispered. Shoyo was throbbing under his lingerie. The song was almost over, and it was time for the big dip.

 

 ** _Oh, I'm jealous_**.

 

Shoyo had yet to look into the crowd, solely focusing on everything that is Keiji. Now that the song was nearing its end, he'd have to face the music.

 

Keiji moved to do the big dip. He twirled Shoyo around and straddled him over his thick thigh. He dipped him down while Shoyo ground down onto Keiji’s rock hard thigh. They held it for a bit while the audience cheered. After a minute, they stood and turned to receive their applause. They received the loudest applause of their dance career yet after that performance.

 

**_Sometimes I want to walk in your shoes_ **

 

One of the things done after a dance is Grace puts the lights on the audience, so the dancers aren't blinded anymore, and they can see who's clapping for them. It’s one of Shoyo’s favorite parts because it erases the anonymity of the audience. As the lights move to shine on the audience Shoyo could see Wakatoshi sitting in the same chair he was photographed in. Satori is long gone and there are tears rolling down Toshi's cheeks, glistening in the pink light.

 

**_Do the type of things that I never ever do._ **

 

Shoyo walks over to Tobio's DJ booth and picks up the microphone that Grace uses to introduce them. Tobio switches on the audio feed and gives him a thumbs up. Shoyo visibly takes a deep breath, shoulders heaving up and down.

 

"That was dedicated to my cheating fiancé. It was also dedicated to Smoke's cheating husband. Fuck y'all." Shoyo gives Tobio the microphone back.

 

He grabs Keiji's hand and walks off of the stage. Wakatoshi abruptly stands and draws all of the attention to himself now. Everyone in his vicinity has figured out that he's either the cheating fiancé or the cheating husband due to the tears in his eyes.

 

**_So I take one look in the mirror and I say to myself,_ **

 

Wakatoshi makes for the door but Ryuu's there in an instant, directing him to the private rooms in the back where Shoyo and Keiji are waiting for him. They say nothing as Ryuu easily wraps his hand over Wakatoshi’s bicep, gripping it. He leads then through the parting crowd. Wakatoshi isn't even fighting anymore. He could easily overpower Ryuunosuke and run out the door just as Satori had done, but he doesn't. He knows he deserves everything Shoyo is about to give him.

 

**_"Baby girl, you can't survive like this."_ **

Shoyo’s crammed into his small dressing room bathroom with Keiji. The latter is rubbing circles onto Shoyo’s back as he vomits into the sink. Keiji holds him up against his chest once Shoyo is done, stroking a hand through his hair. They’re both exhausted, physically and emotionally. 

 

"Y'know, nothing will probably ever be as scary as that was. Ko wasn't even there and I wanted to die." Keiji pulls them up and takes a wet cotton round to the underneath of Shoyo's eyes. He starts wiping off the smeared eyeliner, being careful not to mess up the eyeshadow.

 

"That makes two of us." Shoyo lets Keiji be distracted by cleaning his face for a few more seconds before he grabbed his thin wrist, stilling it, "We have to get out, Keiji. I can't- I can't do this anymore."

 

Keiji just sighed and freed his wrist. Shoyo thought that this was how the conversation was going to end, as it had so many times before.

 

"I'll think about it."

 

Shoyo finally smiled.

 

**_No, no, no._ **

 

They walked out of the bathroom and let the hard clicks of heels on thick, cold concrete carry them to the velvet curtains in the back hallway. Ryuu was standing in front of one of curtained archways with his arms crossed.

 

"He won't be staying at the apartment tonight, but can I call you when he has to come get his shit?" Shoyo asked Ryuu when they were face-to-face.

 

"Yeah, I'll come by and make sure he doesn't hang around."

 

Shoyo nodded and walked in with Keiji tailing him for backup. Wakatoshi was sitting on the edge of the deep velvet bench with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He looked up when light streamed into the room and Shoyo could see the tears glistening on his lashes.

 

**_And I hate you for your lies and your covers_ **

 

"Why the fuck are you crying?" Shoyo asked harshly surprising everybody in the room, including himself. He pushed Wakatoshi into straight sitting position, forcing him to make eye contact.

 

"Because I made a mistake. I-"

 

"No. I know why you’re crying. I don’t even know why I asked. You're crying because you got caught. If anyone should be crying it should be me. You should be happy you can finally be with Satori. You better dry your fucking tears, bitch, because I'm here for answers and nothing else. You aren't coming home tonight."

 

Keiji sat back on the small stage that was on the other end of the room and opened one the water bottles, getting ready for a show.

 

**_And I hate us for making good love to each other_ **

 

"Okay, that seems fair. What do you want to know?" Wakatoshi ran his hands over his face and through his hair, mussing it the way Shoyo liked to do when they used to fuck.

 

"How long?"

 

"Satori and I were friends with benefits in high school, but we lost touch during my undergrad degree. I met up with you again and completely forgot about him. When I started my post-grad at T.U. we ran into each other there and it was like we never lost touch. So, to answer your question, about three and half years."

 

Shoyo scoffed and turned around to face Keiji as if to say, 'do you believe this shit?'

 

"Why?"

 

**_And I love making you jealous but don't judge me_ **

 

"I honestly can't say. Everything with him was comfortable and electric at the same time. We had the added thrill of sneaking around. I- I- It was just something to do. It was never meant to hurt you. _I_ never meant to hurt you."

 

Shoyo paced the room slowly in his stiletto heels and lingerie. He looked menacing with his dark eye makeup and the sharp lines of his jaw defined by the shadows of the room. He placed his hands on his hips and turned to fix his sharp gaze onto his almost-ex-fiancé

 

**_And I know I'm being hateful but that ain't nothing_ **

 

"Do you want to know how long I've known, Wakatoshi?" When he said nothing, Shoyo continued, "I've always known. Do you want to know how long I've cared?"

 

When he said nothing again, Shoyo rounded on him, "I never really cared because I can't remember the last time I ever actually loved you. I say I've always known but I’ve never had concrete proof. I knew it in the way you were happy, but _we_ weren't happy. I knew it in the way _we_ wouldn't fuck every night, but _you'd_ still smell like sex no matter how many times you showered.

 

"I know we made promises to each other. I hate them, and I love them at the same time because they give me the chance to do to you what you never had the decency to do to me."

 

Shoyo took a deep breath and turned to walk out the room. He paused at the doorway and never looked back, "Wakatoshi, I'm leaving you. I want your things out of the apartment in the morning. You can contact me for professional purposes only. Have a nice life." Keiji and Shoyo slipped out through the heavy curtains.

 

**_That ain't nothing._ **

 

Wakatoshi was honestly stunned. He was losing the love of his life right in front of his eyes. Shoyo was slipping through his fingers like dry sand in the desert and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

 

Shoyo would never have a reason to trust him again. If they got back together, Shoyo would always be checking in on Wakatoshi. Once that line is crossed, it's permanently marred. So Wakatoshi walked out of the club with his tail between his legs, but not back to Satori. He didn't think he could ever lay his eyes on that man again. Wakatoshi was losing everything he'd built with this beautiful man for someone who would never treat him right.

 

But that's what he deserves, he thinks, as he pushes the front door of the club open. He walks right by Satori and ignores his calls and shouts. Wakatoshi goes straight to Eita's house, the only person who can help to fix him right now.

 

**_I'm just jealous._ **

 

He doesn't know what he'll do with his life now. He never thought he could fuck it up this bad. Wakatoshi lost everything for quick fucks and adrenaline rushes. He hates himself even more than when he had cost Japan first place in Worlds. He didn't think anything could ever hurt this bad. He knows it’s going to hurt when their sectors have joint projects together. He’ll be seeing him, but from the outside.

 

**_I'm just human._ **

 

Shoyo felt exhilarated and weightless. He turned to Keiji and pulled him close by his shoulders, "Keiji you have to try that! I feel like I can climb Everest and just jump off the top and fly into the sky! Do you want to stay at my place tonight?"

 

Keiji giggled, smiling at Shoyo's words and agreed to the sleepover. He didn't particularly feel like walking in on Kotarou and Tetsuro fucking on the kitchen table and then walking out and pretending he never even went home.

 

**_Don't judge me._ **

 

Keiji and Shoyo's friendship shouldn't work, They're opposites, complete and total, polar opposites. One thing kept them together and now that Shoyo's kicked Wakatoshi to the curb, Keiji knows Shoyo will need him more than ever. This high will only last so long. When Shoyo wakes up to an empty bed after Keiji leaves, Keiji will have to be there when the tears start to come. There's no judgment in their friendship.

 

More times than not, Keiji's used his key copy to spend the night on Shoyo's couch after his own bed was being taken up by another man. It might just be time to confront Kotarou. Shoyo and Keiji would be there to get each other through it.

 

 ** _If you keeping your promise, I'm keeping mine_**.

 

They make it back to the apartment fairly quickly. They shower and then set up camp on Shoyo’s bed. Keiji gets the popcorn and Shoyo picks a movie. They cuddle into the pillows and each other and ignore all of their problems. It's a movie they've both seen a million times before and can watch a million times over again.

 

"I want to leave Kotarou." Keiji says with a sense of finality after the climax of the movie starts winding down. Shoyo ends up hitting himself in the head with the popcorn he'd thrown in the air. Keiji huffs out a laugh and eats the popcorn stuck in Shoyo’s hair.

 

"You know I'm here when you're ready. You can stay here with me." Shoyo pops another piece of popcorn in his mouth, "We're going to be alright, Keiji."

 

Keiji smiles and for once, in the thousands of times Shoyo's said that to him, he finally believes it.

 

**_Oh, I'm jealous._ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this written for so long but I just kept tweaking it bc it never just felt _right_ to me. I moved into my dorm last Monday and classes start next Monday so updates will be inconsistent if you're reading my other series too. I have some other singifcs written for this series already they're just in the tweaking phase.
> 
> anyway come yell at me on tumblr and give me feedback there if you want.  
> [sunboyshoyo](sunboyshoyo)


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